Monday, May 19, 2008

God strikes again

Well that was quick. No sooner had I dared question the divine than retribution swiftly followed. I went on out a bike I'd only bought a couple of weeks ago and firstly I suffered a spill then, about 40 minutes and, more pertinently, a few miles later the gears shredded themselves in a spectacular fashion. (I do not know whether the two are linked). It took several minutes of wrestling with the mangled gears and rear wheel, a couple of cuts and (aptly in the context, me taking the Lord's name in vain) before I could even get it in a state so that I could push it back homewards.

Swift, effective vengeance from the Lord: definitely a bloke.

After all, if God were a woman She would suddenly bring up my misdeeds several years after the event (long after I'd forgotten them) and never give me a moment's peace from that time henceforth.


* Being strictly honest, I think the damn bike is cursed. I've already suffered a burst tyre. If you enjoy walking for miles through the by-ways and streets of London, my advice is: get a bike. It's unbeatable.

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4 Comments:

Blogger dominic said...

What fantastic hubris to blame your clumsiness on an act of God.

I think you best utter an act of contrition, my boy.

10:13 pm  
Blogger bill said...

Ha, ha. Very good. I will not, however, be engaging in papist idolatry as a result.

Can the people who built the thing be deemed agents of God or Satan, I wonder?

10:33 pm  
Blogger dominic said...

I heard tale (not necessarily from an unbiased source) that the Brompton folding bicycle is so called because its inventor was an Oratorian at that Most Splendid Institution.

So if it was a Brompton you were riding, God obviously.

(On what you so wrongly term "papist idolatory" - should you wish to attend a mass at which it is not encouraged to, as our Presbyterian-ish friend from Cote du Matin pointed out "grovel before the LORD", you may visit Brentwood Cathedral - the newest cathedral in the land, and designed by an architect of which Prince Charles approves (and opposite David Irving's old school for good measure).

Kneeling is decidedly discouraged)

I have no idea what manufacture of bicycles might be Satanic in origin.

11:55 pm  
Blogger bill said...

Alas it was not a Brompton. Fine machines, I should rather like one.

This one, however, is intended to travel long distances (something it has singularly failed to let me do so far). It is Italian. Make of that what you will.

12:19 am  

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