Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Government annouces plans to close lap-dancing club by wrecking economy

The Government has announced plans to close "the vast majority" of lap-dancing clubs in the country by ensuring no one can afford to visit them any more.

Ministers believe that the forthcoming economic wipe-out will leave people with so little spare cash that the vast majority of lap dancing clubs will attract so few customers that they will be forced to close.

Minister for telling people what to do Harriet Harman said in a speech to the Women's Institute: "Let's face it, lap-dancing clubs are primarily for City boys and others with far too much spare cash to flash around."

Ms Harman also told the conference that she believed that throwing the majority of lap dancers on the dole would allow them to develop a proper sense of self-worth and a correct their misunderstandings about the right way to conduct themselves with regards to men.

The government also hopes that its plans to ensure that men do not mis-use their disposable income will effect massage parlours, saunas and other establishments were it believes prostitution might take place.

Campaigners have expressed concern a the numbers of foreign women working as prostitutes, warning that many are effectively lured to the country on false pretences. "Typically, they will be told that the economy is in great shape and that there are plenty of jobs. It's only when they get here that the horrible truth dawns on them and they find themselves trapped," warned the Rev Harold Davidson, a clergyman who has made it his lives work to visit every "house of vice" in the country to discover first-hand what goes on in such places.

However, groups representing lap-dancers, prostitutes and other sex workers have warned that the government plans are likely to cause significant harm to them, by hitting their incomes and placing them in greater danger by forcing them underground.

"Who cares what these filthy harlots think?" responded Home Secretary Jacqui Smith. "What's really important is making a counterproductive moral gesture that makes us feel good."

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