Sunday, March 29, 2009

Caught red handed

Jacqui Smith, oh dear. The really important question is what should we call this scandal: w–ergate? mastur-gate?

The rest is pretty predictable. Can Jacqui Smith survive? no. A truly shameless and able politician might brazen it out when caught with their snout in the trough; even if, as in Smith's case it's no so much a snout as a whole pig's worth bar a couple of trotters and a little tail wriggling pinkly that is found in the mountain of swill. But when you manage to be a laughing stock with it, there is no hope, none whatsoever, of survival.

Does she warrant any sympathy? Some, but not for the expense gouging that led to this. If you play the system to the extent that you are happy to get the taxpayer to subsidise your family home (officially the second home, far from Westminster, even if it is lived in by your husband, who is paid £40,000 a year to act as your parliamentary aide), its entertainment system, an 88p plug, a £1,ooo antique fireplace, your internet subscription and even a viewing of Ocean's 13 and so on and venally on, it's no wonder you might inadvertently claim a state-sponsored wank or two as well. Or even be bothered to distinguish between legitimate expenses and grabbing whatever you can.

Oh, okay there are a couple of questions remaining. Why didn't her husband, Richard Timney, not use that internet subscription to seek out free smut?

And what of his viewing material? We told that one of the films may have been Raw Meat 3 (link safe for work). A cursory search for this cinematic classic leads one to suspect that it is somewhat homosexualist in nature (link not overly safe for work). It's possible there are other naughty films with the same title, of course, or even that he might have been watching another one of the naughty channels but that would possibly explain the Home Secretary's anger.

PS: Another thought occurs to me. The paper that first broke the story was the Sunday Express (prop: Richard Desmond). Did it have direct knowledge of what he might have been viewing by any chance?

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3 Comments:

Blogger Sir Compton said...

Yes, quite right, Bill. Ms Smith now trapped in a Tom Sharpe novel and the taint for Labour worse, in terms of prurient comment on personal sexual behaviour, than anything suffered by poor, nice Mr Major, ever at the times of the David Mellor and Piers Merchant stuff.

9:13 am  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

Aren't they all at it? Not saying that to justify her greed but merely to say that it is endemic and part of the system rather. Politics only attracts the sort of person who has no compunction to screw the state for all they can get whilst lamenting the 'benefit scroungers' for doing the same. Hypocrisy, thy name is British politics.

10:39 am  
Blogger bill said...

Oh, I dunno, Sir Compton. The Merchant stuff was pretty special: there was even video footage as I recall.

Puss, the problem is that they aren't all at it. But they get crowded out by the thick, aggressive and self-aggrandising: a microcosm of British life then.

10:46 pm  

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