Drunkeness is next to Godliness

Presbyterian drunks help save the planet.

Street drinkers in Glasgow are donating their empties to help build a church entirely from recycled materials.

Local alcoholics are said to have been "inspired" to do their bit after the Minister of Colston Milton, the Rev Christopher Rowe, told them of the ambitious plan.

Their empty beer cans are now being stored while the church raises money and collects more materials for the environmentally friendly building.

It has already been given £42,809 by the Scottish Climate Challenge Fund to carry out a study of how the "economically and ecologically sustainable" kirk can be built and maintained.

The ecologically sustainable kirk; ah what a glorious concept. I imagine the local alchies were delighted to find a cause that inspired them to keep handing over empty tins. To lapse into good Calvinist theology, the street drinkers are clearly God's elect; chosen out of the sinful mass of mankid. They may spend their days getting pished in the woods, but they are Righteous and Justified in their calling, and when the last trumpet sounds, lo, shall they say, "ye're a'ight, there, Big Man?"

Truly this is the first blast of the trumpet against the monstrous regiment of puritans.