Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Headline of the week

Margaret Thatcher savaged by pitbull.

It might be the Telegraph, but I imagine some of the hacks derived enormous pleasure from publishing that.

The opening paragraph includes such details as:

The paper reports that "Margaret Thatcher yelped in agony as the pit bulls tore into her" body and that a man called Bob Walston "screamed for help and in pain as the pit bulls bit his arms in their frenzy to reach" Maggie, whose memorial service will be held on Wednesday.

Yup. The author is certainly loving it.

PS: I used to work as a sub doing Teletext stories. One particular skill it needs (or needed, I think the cheap halfwits they employed up north after they sacked us all have more leeway) is the ability to write a headline that is exactly 32 (or 36, can't remember now) characters long. As hacks will, we amused ourselves by abusing this skill with a contest to write the headlines we would most like to see for real. Pity no one felt brave enough to put them to air as an act of career-destroying revenge. However, the winners were:

Baroness Thatcher dies in house fire
Queen Mum dies trying to fuck horse
and, a poor third this, but it was fun on the day.
Alcoholic MP in lavender marriage

I won't tell you his name, but one part of it will no longer get me sued.



Blogger dominic said...


Best way to be when you run a party whose other leadership contenders like to get shat on, or run off with Romanian pop stars

12:32 am  

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